Love?

Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always ...protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. -- 1 Corinthians 13

I was not patient..I was not kind...I envied...I was rude...I was easily angered..I kept record of wrongs. I never trusted...I failed..

So I guess I was never in love...

The loudest thing in my head...

Alright, so I think that God is completely and udderly AMAZING.

It's when you're in the most pain, and agony that God can bring amazing things. First, He brought Ambra back to me! :) She has kept me sane these last 2 weeks. Without her, I'd be sitting in my room doing NOTHING. Second..He has brought me some new "projects." Not like..craft projects..but KINGDOM projects. I am super excited. Third, I have been able to spend time with people I felt like I couldn't in years! It has been great to reminisce with people like Jeff, Aaron, Mikey, Doug, and Victor. It has also been amazing to hang out with Lexi, and Chara! I have re-connected with Justin, and let me tell you...all of these things make it SO hard to go back to college.

BUT

My life is moving on. I'M MOVING ON! :) I can openly and freely say this. My life is going to be so much better than I ever could have though possible. Of course it's going to have it's rough patches, but with those rough patches are going to come sweet sweet joy and grace. God is so good and He is the only thing helping me through this "rough patch" called life. I've never felt more sure about anything in my life, and I can't wait to see what He has in store.

I can't wait to re-connect with all my SBU friends. I can't wait to spend ALL of my time with Casey, Marie, Tina, Alyssa, Mindy...ETC. I also can't wait to pour my heart and soul into my roommate Tyne. This year is going to be spent building relationships. Not anything specific...aka...i'm not looking for a boyfriend!!!

I really am going to miss being at home and spending time with my mommy and daddy. I haven't been doing much of that lately, just because I think I finally realized that I have a life..and yes..I am allowed to live it. But anyway...I'm going to miss them and their awesomeness.

My sister is graduating from college this year!!! 2010...my sister is graduating..COLLEGE! WOAH BABY! That just blows my mind. She's going to be on her own, and living her life! She will (hopefully) be engaged to an amazing person and will soon start a life with him, and a family with him...and oh my goodness I am just so excited for her.

Alright, so it's late...and this is getting incredibly long!! :)

Love you all..
me

Life..I HAVE ONE!

So, Ambra and i have pretty much been hanging out 24/7..and

I LIKE IT :)

Oh p.s--"Look you're single and now you have a life!" --Ambra Sisco

LOVE IT

Summer?

Oh boy, so my summer JUST started and it is ALMOST OVER!!

So, this last week was CRAZY! Ambra is back in town so basically...everyday has been spent with her! We went to Worlds of Fun, which was very interesting..let me tell you. But, yeah...so I've been having the month of my life! :)

Hmm...what else? I AM GOING ON MY VERY FIRST DATE TOMORROW!! :) Oh goodness, this makes me so very happy. I'm not sure where we are going to go, but I'm thinking we're just going to eat and get to know each other better. *sigh* I'm excited!

ALSO! I GOT A JOB!!! :) I will be serving food at Mellers this year! :) I am so very excited.

I've said that a lot in this post, but it's so very true!
8 days until I'm back in BOMO! :)
Loves it.

<3...

Alright...so...today was the first day that my heart hurt since Andrew and I broke up. I know that he is going to be able to talk to other girls....but I'm super sad. I just don't like it when my ex's flirt with other people..

I think this hurts especially bad because Andrew and I didn't do anything wrong. We didn't break up because of something that I did, or that he did. It was God's doing..which makes it A LOT better, but still.
I didn't want to break up. I don't want to flirt with anybody else. I don't want to "look" for anybody else. I don't want to date...I just want to be his.

I want a relationship that I can be open in. I want to be able to fart whenever the heck I want to! I want to blow raspberries on my husband's cheeks. I want to have a free spirited relationship. I want him to be a Godly man who ALWAYS puts God first.

ALL OF THESE THINGS...i want.

WANT...what does that even mean? It doesn't mean I can HAVE. But it's not about me...it never was and never will be. It's ONLY about what God wants..and I can say that with ease, but why can't I live it out?!

Why is it SO hard to understand God's will. Probably because it's God's will...not mine. But WHY?!?!?! Sometimes I wonder how people live with their own will in mind..I lived that way for a long time..and it seemed to be great..but it ended up being WRONG!
The only way to live is in God's will.

I need prayer. My heart hurts.

God is so good...He's so good to me

Isn't it crazy how God brings people into your life to keep you grounded? To keep you level headed and sane? I am so blessed to have such amazing girlfriends that talk to me when I'm sad, and sit and listen to me whine and cry about being single. They also help me realize how much the recent events in my life are for the better, and not to destroy me, but to build me up in my relationship with others, and with God.



Tonight was just one of those nights. Whitney and I went to the plaza and ate at UNO chicago grill and then went to the cheesecake factory for desert. Being in her presence made my heart soar. Now i know that sounds lesbianish...but I swear, that is not the case. :) Having nights like I had tonight is what living is all about. Nights like tonight were made for girls. Being able to tell Whitney about my recent breakup and how God is growing me was very much needed.

On our way to leave, two ladies stopped us and asked us if anybody had talked to us about the Lord. I immediately turned around and showed them my very new tattoo that sports the verse Psalm 62:5-8. We sat there and talked to them for a good 20-30 minutes. It was SUCH a God send. I was able to talk to them about how God was changing my heart and changing my mind towards things that I never thought could be changed.

We mostly talked about recent events in my life, but I feel that these women were sent to me and Whitney by God. One of the girls, Sarah, prayed for us on the streets of the plaza. The things that she prayed were exactly what was on my heart.

God is so good, and He sent me those women tonight. It was no accident that they stopped and asked if we knew the Lord. I can confidently say that I DO know the Lord, and that He has prepared an amazing future for me. I am excited to see what God has in store for me...and I'm excited to wait for His timing.

God is so good, He's so good to me.

In my life...

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!

God is so good. My life is changing...it's CHANGING!! RIGHT NOW!! I am continuously changing into who God wants me to be.

I never thought that I could possibly be this happy when something so horrible just happened.

BUT...I know that what I wanted, was not what God wanted. And now I am SO excited to see what GOD wants for me. It's no longer about what I want...but what God wants..


You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek..YOU are my all in all. When I fall down You pick me up, when I am dry You fill my cup...YOU are my all in all. Jesus, precious Lamb of God, worthy is Your name.